Why Today is the Day to Let Go…
- Published on: 22 October, 2014
- Last update: 10 August, 2017
There is something in the air. Do you feel it? Have you been experiencing change, turmoil, and waves of life hitting you all at once? I know I have. October has been one hell of a ride… and I could not be more thankful. When I wrote a blog on autumn earlier this month, I never expected my words would ring so true. Today things came to head and my hindsight is clear as day.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, autumn is a time for letting go and starting new. Fall is the yin (or ‘cold’) season of harvest, where everything in nature contracts and moves its essence inward and downward.
Autumn’s energy is all about pulling us in so we can grow. Shorter days and longer nights give us the opportunity to self reflect. The foods in season that we tend to crave have gathered energy at their core (apples, pumpkins, persimmons)… as we get to the core of ourselves. As a kid I always knew that “Halloween time” had an eerie feeling in the air, but now I’m realizing there are reasons for that way deeper than a commercial holiday. This is a very special season!
In fact, this fall in particular is possibly the most significant I’ve ever experienced. Not only did we have a blood moon this month, we are currently in Mercury Retrograde! It began on October 4th (although I felt it early this year) and will end on the 25th.
What is Mercury Retrograde?
Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel. So when the planet goes retrograde — which means that it looks like it’s going backwards in the sky — all of those things go backwards. This is considered a time of reflection. You may notice that past issues are revisited, hashed out and made peace with. If they are not dealt with during this time, you can bet they’ll pop up during the next retrograde period!
If you work with the energies at play instead of against them, you can gain important lessons and a new perspective. We tend to feel extra sensitive here… psychic even. Everything seems hyper-real, allowing us to notice things we had overlooked before.
This heightened awareness prompts us to re-evaluate, renovate, re-form, and re-invent. When Mercury is in retrograde, we tend to make mistakes and slip-ups often, because the world is telling us to take a step back. It is providing us with a chance to re-examine various areas of our life which may need a little more work, so that we can move forward to a bright new dawn.
If I had not learned about Mercury Retrograde literally a day before it began, I wouldn’t have believed the events that followed.
It’s like the Universe/God was sending me a message preparing me to understand what was to come in the next few weeks. I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon the information, but sure enough, I found a website all about what retrograde is and it piqued my interest. I’m a firm believer that you are meant to pursue things that resonate with you or catch your attention. So, on October 3rd, I made an Instagram post about what was to come during the retrograde (foolishly thinking that I was suddenly an expert and if I knew about it, it wouldn’t apply to me as intensely.) That night, I also released a blog post about essential oils and Ebola. I woke up the next morning to:
- a notice to remove the post
- my debit card number stolen and charges galore
- and my parents’ computer (which I used to write the post), totally crashed.
To be completely honest, my dad was a bit scared since the strange technology mishaps occurred the same day that I got the notice about the blog. Although it very well could be someone “messing” with me, I chose to look at this as the work of good ‘ole Retrograde.
Mishaps continue… lessons arrive…
As the days went by, I became even more of a believer in Mercury’s power. I dropped my laptop, cracked Nick’s iPhone, forgot to submit assignments on time, and oh so much more! The universe was begging me to just take a break and relax!
While this may come as a shock to you (sarcasm) I’m a tad bit stubborn. I didn’t want to take a break! I’ve been getting a lot of e-mails from you guys and my mind has been bubbling with ideas for new blog posts. I’ve also had many healing crystal jewelry orders to make, which is something I will never complain about (thank you all for the support), so I was filling my time with as many work hours as possible. Obviously someone didn’t like that, because all of a sudden I was an emotional wreck and lost my focus to do anything!
You see, I had an urge to liver cleanse. I don’t know why I thought this was such a fabulous idea at a time where I was swamped, but I jumped right into it. I also began taking iodine, as I recently learned just how deficient we all are. To my surprise I soon discovered there are two things that detox you, HARD: liver cleansing and iodine. Fun times.
What does mercury retrograde give you?
— The opportunity to re-hash old, unresolved emotions that are causing problems in your life and deal with them once and for all.
What was I doing instead of facing unresolved emotions?
— Liver cleansing (why?!?!) and pushing those emotions away as I filled my time with work when I needed to focus on self-growth.
What is your liver?
— According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the liver harmonizes all of the emotions.
Starting to make sense? There are no coincidences. I was subconsciously doing something (releasing from my liver) that would force me to deal with and release the emotions Mercury was bringing up.
No matter what, I couldn’t escape dealing with my inner turmoil. And I wasn’t meant to.
Here’s the fun part (I know you’re still loving my sarcasm)! The same confusion and communication troubles you experience during the retrograde can also affect your love life. Not only did I need to release pent-up emotions I was feeling about myself; I needed to address issues in my relationship that were floating underneath the surface, unresolved. If you don’t resolve relationship issues, you’ll find that they keep creeping up during every retrograde and you keep experiencing the same “silly fights” over and over. All too often those silly fights are masking a larger issue. Things kind of… well… exploded.
Now, don’t worry. Nick and I are still two peas in a pod 🙂 But we did have some communication blockages that we had to figure out once and for all. I mentioned in the beginning that this is a very significant autumn. That’s partly because we’ve had these issues our entire relationship, and somehow – some way – we managed to seriously make progress this time. This is something we’ve re-hashed time and time again and only this time did we let our guards down and admit our faults completely. The fights were not easy (we had two, which is crazy because we never have big fights), and in fact the second one was the worst argument we’ve ever had.
But one of the things I’ve learned at this point in my journey is that the word “pain” is synonymous with “growth.” You cannot separate the two. They might as well be together in the dictionary.
The worse the pain, the more rewarding the growth. I needed to experience that pain to finally put my pride aside and see the bigger picture. It was meant to happen that way, and I’m thankful for the hardship. For the first time ever, we’ve been able to see that our problem was not communication, but in fact the way we communicate. I’m a person that loves to express myself through words. Nick is a person that expresses himself through music and writing. This is the first time we’ve been able to verbalize that disconnect and work with it. Now that we know our comfortable channels… we’re better than ever.
Letting go, part 1…
Mercury Retrograde is one thing, and as you can tell, it’s pretty serious. But the moon is a whole new topic. Not only have I been liver cleansing, I’ve been breaking every bad habit I’ve ever wanted to leave behind. What’s more is that I’ve been admitting to myself that I even have those habits. Only today did this full-on life cleanse (and the moon’s role in the process) make sense. Bear with me – I swear I’m getting to the main point and the part about the moon!
You see, three days ago I stopped vaporizing cannabis even though I’m a huge believer in the benefits. I knew my therapeutic time with it was done and the herb was finished giving me its gifts and opening my mind (will write more on this soon). I stopped eating sugar, COMPLETELY (even coconut sugar). I stopped eating at night. I stopped staying up late and gave myself a bedtime. I made a conscious decision to remove my need for comfort from the experience of eating.
I let go of all the things above and more, which were habits I was holding onto for years. I thought I would never have the strength to go without my gluten free treats. I thought I would always reach for a snack when I was stressed. But I did it.
Letting go, part 2: What makes today so special?
This morning I woke up exactly as the sun rose. I had a midterm at 10, so I had set my alarm early to study for it. When I naturally awoke with the light I didn’t bother to go back to sleep (which I usually would) and got right into studying. Ironically, I didn’t even have to study – I walked into class and everyone was using their notes. It was open book and I didn’t get the memo. But I knew that I was meant to rise with the sun for a reason. My friend and I were just discussing how waking with the sun balances your hormones for the entire day. I can’t say this enough: there are no coincidences. That conversation was prepping me to understand the events of today. Waking with the sun was prepping my energy to handle the power of today.
The day flew by. I was expecting to get a lot of work done for my blog and jewelry, but instead I ended up getting a lot of “therapeutic” work done in terms of helping others. While sitting in a lounge at school, a freshman approached me and asked if he could sit with me. Of course I said yes, because a) freshies are adorable, b) it’s a free country, and c) I happen to like people (sometimes).
It turns out the freshman was in the same place I was my freshman year. I was staring at myself. He was a pre-med student who was questioning the medical system. I told him I dropped pre-med because I got sick and doctors knew nothing. He said, “Yeah! They’re always like that! They never have an answer, just fancy diagnoses and medications.” Oh no, I thought. He is about to have the same epiphany I did. “I’m thinking of switching to pre-dental because I’m losing faith in medicine,” he continued.
I was meant to catch him today while he still had a chance to see things from a different perspective. I explained everything, word vomit style. I told him about how I healed my liver on my own with herbs when doctors were shoving pills at me. I told him about Big Pharma. I explained how we all have parasites, heavy metals, and toxins – and that’s the REAL cause of our issues/symptoms. I told him to please, please study biological dentistry instead of classic dentistry because I knew the reason dentists commit suicide more than any other profession. Mercury is a dangerous neurotoxin and silver amalgam fillings leach tons of it. The major side effect of mercury poisoning is depression and suicide – I gave him links to check out ioamt.org, a group of over 700 dentists that have proved beyond a reasonable doubt that dental amalgam is a source of mercury poisoning and great hazard.
He also told me how much he isn’t fitting in at our school. I could tell he was special. He wanted to go see plays instead of party. He wanted to study instead of binge drink. He was me! He was perfect, and so ahead of his time. I made sure I told him that and I know we will both never forget our exchange.
Two of my best friends also texted me today with deep issues. Why are all of these people having problems on the same day, I thought to myself. Why are they coming to me? Am I meant to see something today?
One friend in particular is having an especially rough retrograde. It’s been bringing up horrible memories of her very abusive ex-husband. Unfortunately, that’s the kicker about abusers – they convince you that everything is your fault and you’re a coward if you become strong enough to move on. She received an e-mail from him after years of no contact bullying her further and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“You have to end this once and for all,” I said.
I still couldn’t see clearly yet why he chose to e-mail her today, but I knew there was something important going on. I asked her if she had any old things of his, and the shared that yes, she was holding onto some sentimental notes. “Destroy them,” I said. She would never be able to escape the clutches of his manipulation unless she symbolically and energetically ended their ties.
I told her to research which day of the moon is best for letting go of the past. I already knew (because of Lily) how powerful the full moon is for cleansing, so I knew there had to be a moon phase for leaving the past behind.
Soon I found this chart, and one phase stuck out to me in particular. “Waning Crescent.” It says the waning crescent is a time for “banishing spells and breaking habits.” Her ex definitely had a “spell” on her and she needed to break the cycle of abuse.
Here’s the freaky part. Guess what tonight is?
YUP! The last night of waning crescent. And guess what tomorrow is?! The new moon, a time for a fresh start and new beginnings. Shall I say it once more? No coincidences!
Suddenly everything fit together. This is why I’ve been “life cleansing” and breaking bad habits. This is why I was dealing with my personal and relationship issues. This is why everyone was coming to me today for help deciding their next move. This is why I’ve been wanting to re-design my website and my room. Because I’ve been feeling the moon and in tune with nature. I even came home to a spotless kitchen, and seriously, my dad never, ever, ever cleans the kitchen. That’s how I new something was up. Was he leaving behind his laziness and starting fresh with the moon too?
|the eerie sky on my way to school tonight|
How did I know she was meant to bury her ex’s belongings on the waning crescent? How amazing is it that today was the crescent? How magical is life that we had this conversation on the last day of the exact crescent we needed?
I immediately told Nick, “we have to symbolically leave behind the past tonight.” We planned to make lists of final habits we wanted to break, and burn the lists tonight when the moon was out. He remembered that indigenous cultures smoke organic tobacco to further connect with the creator, and wanted to get some for our plans tonight. I started to research how those cultures use tobacco, sage, and cedar to “cleanse” and knew that although we couldn’t magically get clean tobacco on short notice, we could definitely find cedar or a similar bark.
When I pulled up to my house, the final piece of the puzzle was waiting for me. A tree had fallen one block down from me, as if the world was offering me the branches to complete my purification journey. I collected them one by one and made my way to my front door with tears in my eyes.
As I walked up the steps, my landlord’s eyes grew inquisitive. “What are those you have there?” she asked. I told her that wood is a very special element in nature – in fact it symbolizes the liver in Chinese medicine and thus can cleanse and purify your emotions. I explained that I had collected these tree branches to keep in my house and use to welcome the new moon and changes into my life. I told her how it would clean my personal energy along with the energy of my room.
My landlord and I don’t always connect on a deep level, but she is an amazing woman who has been through a lot and deeply cares about her family. She is always working so hard on her garden to provide a beautiful home and fruitful harvest for her loved ones. Because she’s always working, she is often focused and I don’t always get to see her smile. I offered her a branch of the tree to purify her home too, and she was almost giddy in a sense. It was like a branch of peace that deepened our connection ever so slightly – but still deepened it nonetheless.
What does all of this mean?
After writing this whole story up, all I can say is that life is magical. God/the universe is always with you and always guiding you if you can listen to its language via life’s synchronicities.
While looking up synonyms for the word “change” to write this blog, yet another sign came… clear as day. Did you know that the noun ‘change’ actually means “the moon’s arrival at a fresh phase, typically at the new moon”? I didn’t — until just now. Each piece of the puzzle that I find gives me chills.
Use tonight’s energy to leave the past behind. The waning moon is a time to break bad habits or bad addictions, to end bad relationships. This is a time of deep intuition and a time for divination. Settle disputes and make amends. Face your addictions and toxic relationships. Start work on removing obstacles. Give thanks for what has been achieved.
Make a list of the things you want to move on from – the things that no longer serve you. Write down your worst qualities and forgive yourself for them. Burn it, rip it up, bury it; do whatever you have to do to energetically move to the next plane of life.
Tomorrow is your chance at a fresh start. The new moon is a magical time of beginnings, when you can recharge goals or even set new ones. Don’t just make a list of the negative to rip up tonight… manifest the positives too and make a list to keep for tomorrow. Write down all the things you want to achieve in the next day, month, year, or more! You can do this, and the power of nature is there to guide you. Today is the day to let go…. and boy am I ready! xoxo